In the words of the great raconteur Joey Essex, ‘I done a write’. Have a look, I talk about Stefan Dennis.


Cast your mind back. Way back.

No. WAY back.


Oh come on. Work with me here.

Way, way, WAY back.

Ok fine. Let me give you a hand. Well, a date, actually. GO back to July 2012. Specifically, the 4th of July 2012.

I know, bleeding yonks ago, right? 

On the 4th of July, 2012, a lot of shit had not even happened. Kim K’s pelvic floor muscles were still intact, with baby North West nothing but a twitch in Kanye’s boxers. Abi Alton believed that the X Factor was her ‘Go Straight To Stardom’ pass, as opposed to something that would break her fragile soul. Joey Essex had not yet gone on his jungle mission to replace the English language with a series of winks, gurns and emoticons, and we all still thought Tom Daley was straight…..ummm…

One thing that had happened though, was this. My…

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